O.k. its saturday night around 2:10a.m. and the bar closes at 3.00 So approximately round 2:30 I will give a last call for alcohol. Now here lies the problem the music is bumping and the people are really loaded to say they might need another drink would be absurd yet it’s a good night and the women are restless so let’s make it do what it do. The bartender stands on the bar ringing the bell at 2:30 and says “Last call for Alcohol” and then the d.j. also announces several times about the last call yet they keep dancing and dancing. Soon about 2:50 a.m. I’m surrounded at the bar with about 30 people screaming drinks out randomly as if they never heard the announcements that went out at least half a dozen times. So at this point a bartender is really tired with back pain and hurting feet and he/she is in the process of breaking down. This my friend truly, I mean truly pisses a bartender off and could soarly ruin they’re night. You might say well why complain we’re in a recession and their getting a lot of extra money near closing time so what’s the big deal buddy? I’m glad you ask and for that reason I have compiled several reasons why you should “never’ walk up to the bar when last call has been made and the bartender is closing down the bar.
1. Most people who don’t hear last call don’t need last call because they’re already drunk,duh!
2. Some professional bar hoppers will try to use last call to bargain with the bartenders and kinda get a 2 for 1 deal which they don’t need and will say ” keep that”, as they hand you 2 dollars, yeah right…
3. Watch out for the smooth operators who try to buy women drinks only to call you over and refute the bill if the women or female disses them; what a pain in the A/#
4. Then you have the people who will try to get a drink for someone you cut off 30 minutes ago who could kill somebody in an accident which leaves you defending yourself about not serving them. Either way your job is history my friend, because most owners will get amnesia when concerning their liquor license and your out in the cold! bur-r-r-r..
5. A beautiful women is nice to look at all night except when its last call then I become Ray Charles. Most women who know their hot aren’t gonna tip much or at all. The game is if a guy is talking with her she will kindly say “oh he’s paying for this” even if the dude just walked up to speak with her. Game recognize game moma cita. (Note: if she’s in the business then the beauty will tip the bartender).
6. My favorite one is “come on man hook a brother up”, as Whitney Houston said “hell to the Nall”!!
7. I’m just warming up, then there’s my grandma died now this cat will cry all night and think you won’t his depressing ass at your bar all night drinking by the way on the house. You might wana get a 40 oz. and take it to the house G. My condolences.
8. Then there’s the few that will dispute you never said last call cause he was to busy getting high outside or trying to get his Mack on.
9. Here’s one you’ll love”there’s something in my drink man” after they’ve dranked 3/4 of the alcohol. Gimme a break homey.
10. And finally how about a shot for every body because I spent 30 dollars in this joint so come o G make it happen…..
There are several more that are truly outrageous yet I’ll leave you with these for now. These are some of the reasons that bartenders aren’t particular with dealing with last calls because there are a multitude of issues that will arouse. For a bonus I will tell you that if the night has been bad for tips it only gets worse when you say last call..
trifling, trifling, trifling…
what does little water means? 